3 Presence Lessons from Hudson Coaching I Wish I'd Learned 10 Years Ago
For years, I walked into high-stakes meetings already rehearsing my first line.
I thought preparation was presence.
I was wrong.
Nine months in the Hudson Institute of Coaching's Certification Program taught me something different: Presence isn't performance. It's an inner state you train.
Three lessons that stuck:
๐ฏ ๐ญ. ๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ธ
Take a 10-second "arrive" pause. Breathe. Feel your feet. Name the moment.
In tense meetings, I now silently ask: "What matters most right now?" Then I speak to that.
The result? Calm authority. Better listening. Fewer reactive moves.
๐ก ๐ฎ. ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ
Hudson calls this walking slightly behind the other person โ creating space for them to see, choose, and own the change.
I stopped saying "Here's what we should do."
Now I ask: "What are we optimizing for โ and what tradeoff are we willing to make?"
When someone is stuck, I reflect on the dilemma and ask a single, clear question that forces a choice.
You don't dominate. You orchestrate clarity, ownership, and accountability.
๐ฅ ๐ฏ. ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฏ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐บ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ
Hudson's "use of self" work emphasizes embodied congruence โ what you say matches how you show up.
Before high-stakes moments, I do a quick body scan: jaw, shoulders, breath. Release 5%.
Then I set three boundaries explicitly โ scope, decision owner, and timing.
Presence spikes when ambiguity drops.
๐ก The Hard Truth
Most of us think presence is about projecting confidence outward.
It's actually about cultivating stillness inward.
๐ฌ What's your version of the 10-second pause?
โ
๐ฅ Iโm Howard โ an executive coach helping high-achieving professionals navigate whatโs next.
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