BLUF: I’ve learned that what I was doing wasn’t active listening — it was strategic hearing. Your ability to listen deeply may be your greatest untapped superpower. For 25 years, I thought I had mastered the art of listening. As a lawyer who conducted depositions multiple times a week and later as a consultant advising executives, I took pride in being attentive to every word, pause, and nuance .Listening was my job — or so I believed.
But now, as I near the completion of my Executive Coaching Certification, I’ve realized that what I was doing wasn’t active listening — it was strategic hearing. I was listening for what I needed to respond, prove, or persuade.
Coaching has taught me something deeper: Being present is an entirely different level of listening.🎧 The Lesson from HBR: Listening Is Work
In “How to Become a Better Listener” (Harvard Business Review, Dec 2021), Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg highlight something that hit me hard: “Listening is physically and mentally taxing. It requires energy and focus. ”They outline nine practical shifts — and every one of them has changed how I show up:
1️⃣ Dedicate time and space to listen. Don’t multitask. Close the laptop. Be there.
2️⃣ Avoid jumping into problem-solving too fast. This one’s brutal for consultants and executives. Silence can feel uncomfortable — but that pause often holds the real insight.
3️⃣ Paraphrase what you heard. Not to prove you understood, but to show you’re in it with the other person.
4️⃣ Ask clarifying questions. Not to steer — but to discover.
5️⃣ Stay out of “information bubbles.” Don’t assume you already know where the other person is going. Stay curious. Stay open.
🧠 What I Wish I Knew 25 Years Ago
If I had practiced presence — not just listening to reply but listening to understand — I would have built even stronger trust, avoided countless misfires, and seen what wasn’t being said. Active listening isn’t about perfect silence or polished empathy. It’s about discipline — so you can hold space for someone else’s.
⚡The Takeaway
Whether you’re a coach, a consultant, or an executive — your ability to listen deeply may be your greatest untapped superpower.
Try this in your next conversation:
✅ Eliminate distractions.
✅ Listen for what’s beneath the words.
✅ Ask one question before you offer one answer.
You’ll be amazed at what you start to hear. Remember, listening is work. Presence is power.
🔄 Over to You
When was the last time you felt truly heard — or truly listened?What difference did it make?
💥 Hi, if we haven’t met yet, I am Howard— an executive coach and former consulting leader who helps high-achieving professionals navigate what’s next.
If you liked this post and want to see more insights on leadership, growth, and navigating change with purpose: Connect with me