We all say we want to change.
New habits. New leadership style. New way of showing up.
But here’s the truth:
Most change fails — not due to lack of willpower, but because of your inner immune system.
🧠 The Hidden “Immunity to Change”
Harvard researchers Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey call it our “Immunity to Change.”
It’s the mind’s “defense system” against threats to identity, safety, or control.
You may say:
“I want to delegate more.”
But your behavior says:
“If I let go, something will fall apart.”
That’s not hypocrisy — it’s protection.
Beneath your stated goal lies a competing commitment (“I must stay in control to stay valuable”).
And under that, a big assumption (“If I’m not the one holding it together, I’ll be seen as weak”).
Until you surface those layers, you’ll stay stuck in the same loop — wanting transformation but defending against it.
🔍 A Moment of Truth
Early in my consulting career, I kept hearing the same feedback: “You need to let others lead more.”
I nodded. I agreed. I even wrote it in my development plan.
But nothing changed.
Then I realized — I wasn’t resisting delegation.
I was protecting an old belief: “If I’m not the fixer, I’m not valuable.”
That belief had served me for decades.
But now it was in my way.
Naming it didn’t just change my behavior — it freed me from it.
🧭 What Works When You’re Stuck
1️⃣ Map your “immunity.”
Use Kegan & Lahey’s 4-column map:
Your goal → what you do instead → hidden commitments → big assumptions.
2️⃣ Run small tests.
Don’t try to leap — try a nudge.
Change one small behavior that gently challenges your assumption.
3️⃣ Name the fear.
Say it out loud. Write it. Share it with a colleague, confidant, or your coach.
Once you name it, it loses power.
❓ Why It Matters
Leaders often demand change from others
— while unconsciously protecting themselves from it.
That’s the real work.
Not “change management.”
Change courage.
The moment you can hold both the desire to grow and the fear that guards it — you’ve entered the space where real transformation begins.
⚡ Question for you:
What change do you say you want — but keep circling back to old patterns?
What might that reveal about your hidden commitments?
Drop a thought below or DM me — I love mapping these with clients who are ready to break through their “immunity.”
