Most...
take on too many projects...
drown in meetings...
burn out — quietly, resentfully.
All to avoid one uncomfortable moment: Saying “no.”
But here’s the truth: If you can’t say “no” effectively, you’ll never be able to control your calendar, priorities, or career. Let’s fix that.
Why Saying No Is So Hard
We fear being:
➡ Seen as unhelpful
➡ Labeled difficult
➡ Excluded from future opportunities
➡ Punished by leaders or peers
But saying “yes” constantly doesn’t make you helpful — it makes you replaceable. Ethan Evans, former Amazon VP and author of The Magic Loop, puts it bluntly: “You have to say no to say yes to what matters.”
Here’s a 3-step formula that works:
1. Appreciate
Start with empathy and gratitude.
➡ “Thanks for thinking of me.”
2. Decline Clearly
Be direct, not vague. Don’t hide behind “maybe” or “let me think about it.”
➡ “I can’t take this on right now.”
3. Offer a Bridge (Optional)
Suggest another path — someone else, a timeline, or a smaller commitment.
➡ “Have you tried looping in [X]?” or “I can help with [Y] instead.”(Sources: HBR’s “How to Say ‘No’ at Work Without Making Enemies” and Ethan Evan’s “Magic Loop”).
🧠 Real Example (That Got Results)
A client I coach was overwhelmed with “asks” across three teams. She felt like she had to say yes to show leadership, to stay visible. The result? Mediocre delivery, missed deadlines, rising anxiety.
Our work led to rewriting her default response using this script: “Thanks for thinking of me. To stay focused on [priority project], I’ll need to pass on this one. Let me know if you’d like input once you’re further along, and please keep me in mind for the next opportunity.”
No damage. No drama. No enemies.
She was surprised by how respected she felt afterward.
💥 The Takeaway
You won’t earn respect by being constantly available. You’ll gain respect by owning your time, safeguarding your priorities, and producing excellent results.
Want to stand out as a leader?
Learn to say no. And mean it.
What’s the most challenging situation for you to say no?
Hi, if we haven’t met yet, I am Howard— an executive coach and former consulting leader who helps high-achieving professionals navigate what’s next. Blending coaching, consulting, and practical strategy, I take a “no script” approach—start broad, get tactical fast, and focus on what moves careers and organizations forward.
If you liked this post and want to see more insights on leadership, growth, and navigating change with purpose: Connect with me