About 15 years ago, I asked a candidate, "Tell me about a time you disagreed with your manager and how you handled it."
They walked me through escalating an issue — professionally, backed with data and peer input. The decision was reversed in their favor.
Then they said something that hit me like a brick:
"I've learned that loyalty to a company or mission doesn't equate to loyalty to one person's decision."
That sentence revealed a blind spot I didn't know I had.
I had built a reputation as a decisive leader. Bias for action. Clear direction. High expectations.
But in that moment, I realized how many people on my own teams might not have felt safe pushing back on me. I might have created an environment where dissent felt like disloyalty.
💡 What I Changed
After that interview, I started telling my teams directly:
"You're not only allowed but expected to push back if you think I'm wrong. If you're quiet and disagree, that's a failure of ownership on your part."
I made a habit of asking more questions in meetings rather than making statements. And I started ending key decisions with four words: "What am I missing?"
That last one was the hardest. It required sitting with silence instead of filling it.
⚠️ The Hard Truth
That candidate didn't get the job.
But they gave me a leadership gift I'll never forget.
Amazon Bar Raisers are trained to evaluate candidates. That day, a candidate evaluated me.
💬 When did feedback from an unexpected source change how you lead?
💥 I'm Howard — an executive coach (and former Amazon Bar Raiser) helping high-achieving professionals navigate what's next.